As you can see, the lineup included a 'Scottish Cowboy', myself, a burlesque dancer, two fire performers, and someone impersonating Jesus Christ, doubtless in honor of the Easter weekend. The lineup was sent to myself and the other performers a day in advance of the actual show - too late to back out, if I'd wanted to!
But before the 20th arrived, I would spend several weeks in misery as I tried and tried to develop an act around my swords. My problem was that I was so enamored of the actual sword-swallowing, I'd given no thought to presentation. In my mind, it was amazing enough to see someone swallow sword after sword, upping the ante each time in terms of danger. But three weeks before the show, I had to come to grips with a few uncomfortable facts about myself:
1. I had absolutely no performing experience in my adult life.
2. Any public speaking I'd done had covered the dryest, most technical subjects, and I was used to writing for business audiences, not rowdy bar crowds.
3. I wasn't schlocky, I wasn't a huckster, and I had no interest in aping the other performers I'd seen. Unfortunately, I also didn't know how to interpret other acts as inspiration for my own material.
In desperation, I started pressing friends of mine with performance experience for tips. I bought drinks for friends and begged them to share everything they knew, and I wrote down every hint, suggestion, or observation they could offer.
Finally, I scripted a draft a week before the show. I ran through the act in front of Page and some friends. I stammered, I mumbled, I flailed my arms, stumbled and rambled, and managed to swallow some swords in between. The response was gentle, but withering, and I rewrote the act. Page offered to be my 'lovely sidekick' and pass swords back and forth as I spoke my act, and after a friend complimented us on some ad-hoc comedic bickering during a rehearsal, Page became part of the act. Together, we wrote comedy, slashed segments that fell flat, worked on a dramatic arc and finally pulled together a routine that worked. It was gently funny, played to the crowd and kept the action going. All I had to do was rehearse my lines and give Page her cues, and for the first time in months, I heard a voice in my head say, We can pull this off!
Above: The author swallowing the Robin Hood sword and kneeling for the camera. Note the expression of terror and amazement on Page's face!
Above: A stop-motion animation of the actual sword-swallowing act. The photos were taken the night before the performance.
I spent nearly every free moment rehearsing my lines and getting 'in character'. Rex Libris is basically me, just twice as loud and maniacal. I made a list of hints to help differentiate my 'act' from being a lukewarm script reading with a few sword-swallows thrown in. My suggestions:
1. Lift sentences at the end. I have a tendency to 'drop' my sentences. By raising my tone at the end, I could infuse each statement with more energy than I normally would.
2. Enunciate! My father would be proud of me for remember to enunciate, to project my voice powerfully and with clarity.
3. Stick to the script. I'm a terrible ad-libber when I'm nervous. Stick to what works and don't ramble.
4. Make broad gestures, not small ones. I'd have to remember to use the stage to 'embrace' the crowd, to draw them in and make them part of the performance. I have a tendency to make small, mincing gestures if I'm unsure of what I'm doing. I'd have to be bold, no matter what.
5. Don't pace! Like #3, I tend to stray nervously when in front of a crowd. Find a spot and plant yourself there.
We performed a final run-through to friends, and everything went smoothly. The act was coming together! Page had settled on a cute dress for her role as sexy sidekick. I'd decided to wear dark slacks, a white dress shirt, and an elegant black velvet vest. My hair would be brushed up in a giant chestnut-red pompadour. Page had found a wrought iron lawn decoration, shaped like a narrow pyramid, that would hold all of my swords. In a figurative sense, the stage was set - and the following evening, that would be the literal case. I was as ready as I could be, terrified and thrilled.
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